JOHN WILLIAM STEHLY, M.D.
April 26, 1922 – January 12, 2010
John, the oldest of Nicholas and Winifred Stehly’s 13 children, was born and raised on a 40-acre chicken and citrus farm in Anaheim. His 12 siblings are: Mary Schaner (died 2000), Irene Devlin, Jim Stehly, Jerome Stehly (died 2000), Fr. Tom Stehly, Jane Frances “Sr. Mary Winifred” (died 1959), Nick Stehly, Winnie Mamer (died 2001), Sr. Virginia, Dr. Art Stehly (died 2007), Fr. Mark Stehly, and Suzanne Stehly.
John’s early years included an education at St. Boniface School, working the home ranch, playing all sports, and helping to raise his siblings. High school in 1936 introduced him to life in the “big city”. His parents chose to have him board at Loyola High School in Los Angeles. In order for them to be able to afford a Loyola education, John worked many jobs to offset some of the costs. One of his “favorite” jobs was working the faculty cafeteria, waiting tables for the Jesuit priests. In addition to academic excellence, John was also very busy playing Loyola football (offensive guard), basketball and baseball. As often as possible, he’d travel via the electric red car, back to Anaheim for the weekend to spend time with his family. Almost as difficult as being away from his family, was John’s absence from all his many pets: dogs, cats, cows, birds, and horses.
He didn’t travel very far from high school in l940 to attend Loyola University. “Jack” Stehly easily won a football scholarship at Loyola U. and was asked to switch to quarterback under the new Notre Dame system. With a pre-med major and countless practices, games, jobs, and study sessions, he somehow found time to date Jeanelle McDonald, the beautiful, shy, redheaded daughter of Dr. and Mrs. F.X. McDonald, a Los Angeles socialite couple. John loved to bring Jeanelle home to the Anaheim ranch to have her experience “real” life on a farm with a large family!
Graduating in 1943 from Loyola U., John enlisted in the Navy in order to have them pay for his USC Medical School education (1946 graduate). John was a Lt. J.G. in the Medical Corp from 1943 – 1950. With an Obstetrics and Gynecology specialty, he was very fortunate to get the position of delivering naval spouses’ babies at Long Beach Memorial Hospital.
John and Jeanelle were married at St. Brendan’s Church in Los Angeles on Oct. 19, 1946, and their first “home” was the studio apartment above his uncle, Joe Chambers’, mortuary. The early married years included moving 7 times in 7 years, working very long hours at L.A. County Hospital, and trying to start a family. They chose to move to Fullerton because of a rumor of a new Catholic hospital being planned for North Orange County.
John and Jeanelle had their first child, Jeanine, in 1951, and 6 more children rapidly followed: Mary in 1953, Rosanne in 1954, Jeff in 1957, Carolyn in 1958, John Thomas in 1961, and Ann in 1964. By 1957, they had finally settled in the north Fullerton home in which Jeanelle currently lives. Dr. John was the first north Orange County medical specialist, and the first OB/GYN to set up practice in north Orange County (at St. Jude Hospital in Fullerton). From 1953 – 1985, the “Molitor/Stehly/Whiting” practice delivered thousands of babies, and did numerous surgical procedures. From 1985 – 2003, Dr. John enjoyed a semi-retired medical practice assisting at surgeries (“Homer Beeper”). Besides almost 60 years practicing medicine, Dr. John was a charter member of the OB/GYN Society of Orange County, and was actively involved in many organizations including: the Pro-Life for America Organization (His “choice” was to respect and preserve life.), the First Friday Friars of Orange County, and the Holy Name Society.
Throughout John’s life there were certain priorities that he established for himself and his family. The primary one was his Catholic faith. Through daily example, he taught his children the value of a moral, Christian life. He very generously provided a Catholic education for his children; most of them attended 16 years of private Catholic schools, starting at their parish school, St. Mary’s in Fullerton. He had a particular devotion to the Blessed Mother, by saying the rosary with his family, reciting the Memorare regularly, and having a life-size marble statue of Our Lady of Grace shipped from Italy to his backyard. Secondary to his faith, was his intense devotion to his wife and family. The main reason he bought a home so close to St. Jude Hospital was so that he could go home to have lunch with his wife every day. Every vacation included all 9 family members. He even bought a home at Canyon Lake to ensure the grown family would continue to vacation together. The third priority in John’s life was enjoying his work. Because he happily thrived every day in his profession, he transmitted that joy to his patients. He couldn’t eat at a restaurant without a mother or grandmother interrupting him with their wonderful “birth” stories to which he had contributed. With John’s zest for life, he also had many hobbies. As a doctor by profession, he was a farmer/rancher in his heart. For many years he owned property in Valley Center (his beloved “Lilac”, as he called it), where he grew citrus and avocados. After selling the ranch, he wanted to have a farm closer to home, so he raised cattle across from St. Jude’s behind the Brea Dam. He also raised pigeons, dogs, cats, and sheep in his backyard, and planted a beautiful vegetable garden twice a year.
There was one important part of John’s life that was sacrosanct, and that was his obsession with all forms of sports! When team sports became impossible for him to pursue, he threw himself into the perfection of playing racquetball. Anyone he knew was challenged to try and beat him – that was impossible! Surf fishing and hunting were also passions for him. And when the physical sports became too difficult for him, he lived vicariously through all his children’s, then grandchildren’s sports. John would attend as many practices and games of his 7 children and 13 grandchildren as his day would allow. His grandchildren would attest to their “vocal” grandpa cheerleading them from the stands!
John’s very busy life was unfortunately interrupted with the cruel disease of Alzheimer’s. Jeanelle continued to help him deal with the disease as long as she could, but then required the help of a nursing facility. After a year away from home, the Lord decided to take John to Heaven. He has certainly left his mark on his wife, children, grandchildren, friends, and extended family, which have all benefited from his life experiences. THANK YOU AND GOD BLESS YOU JOHN/DAD!
IN LIEU OF FLOWERS, JOHN STEHLY’S FAMILY WOULD VERY MUCH APPRECIATE DONATIONS TO THE ALZHEIMER’S ASSOCIATION.
Jeff Stehly
This is the Eulogy Jeff gave at the funeral:
Good morning. For those who don’t know me, or maybe can’t tell us apart, I’m Jeff Stehly, eldest son of John W. Stehly. I also thank you for being here.
Our patriarch has passed. A man that filled our lives with love, numerous gifts, and bountiful blessings has now left a huge hole in our lives. My father, Dr. John Stehly, was a STUDY in CONTRASTS. Those who knew him firsthand in his chosen professions of obstetrics and gynecology knew of his caring, gentle, professional manner. But how many knew that often, returning from Sunday Mass with his family, he would stop at St. Jude’s Hospital to check on his patients, only to encounter cows on the front lawn? Two things…. Yes, there used to be grass in front of the old entrance to St. Jude’s and yes, they were my dad’s cows! He leased property behind Brea Dam for years to raise his cattle. As my mother would say, he was making rounds of his patients AND cows, and “herding” his children.
That same loving, caring, gentle, reassuring bed-side manner could easily be forgotten if you were introduced to him for the first time or any time he shook your hand. First, your palm would be squeezed in a vise-like grip, then your whole arm would shake like he was trying to rip it out of your shoulder. But then you saw his smile and all was well.
But even that smile was deceiving. A long time ago, while I was working at St. Jude’s cafeteria, people I did not even know or recognize would come up to me and say, “you must be Dr. Stehly’s son.” Now, it’s a huge privilege to be his son, but with the red hair, I didn’t think there was a resemblance. However, when questioned, they replied, “Oh, it’s your smile; it’s just like your father’s!” A smile? On my father’s face? Not possible, at least not at home! Come to find out, what our father presented to us children at home was very different from his
persona at work or just outside our home. Let me apologize on behalf of my siblings for us being the reasons for our father’s huge smile and source of his lengthy detailed descriptions and I’m sure, unceasing stories told to you, filled with pride about his children. But he had a big part in us being who we are.
No more fearsome words were heard than, “Wait till your father gets home”! The confusion and denial of any wrong-doing on our part was quickly erased with images of our punishment. I don’t need explanations now of why my father kept lathes: small, thin sticks laying around the backyard. We were ordered to gather some up and hand them over to him. It was swift justice, painful, but over quickly, and whatever actions caused this reaction, it would never happen again!
Fortunately, we live under a merciful God and my father took up racquetball when his hands swelled too much playing handball. Seeing him crouched in front, waiting for my backhand return kill shot gave me only an instant to decide - hit the ball around him or THROUGH him? I reasoned, “it was HIS strategy to try and block my shot, so why not?” I hit it hard and it left a mark, but he barely moved, and even slightly smiled and snarled, “I serve again!”
“As you practice, so you play; as you live so you die” were words my father lived by. His coach at Loyola, Marty Brill, was an idol of his, since Marty played at Notre Dame, under Knute Rockne and his creed guided my father when times got tough. In high school at Loyola, Dad played offensive guard, but was asked to play quarterback in this new-fangled “Notre Dame System” at Loyola University. He would pitch to a sweeping tailback and lead the blocking for him, with his head, I’m sure! But Jack Stehly, as he was known, got off quite a few passes, too. Years later, his fervor for sports evolved into being a fan, attending as many practices and games of his children and grandchildren as his schedule allowed.
His athletic aggressiveness and love of sports competition spilled over into his daily life. Word has it, he forced his friend, Joe Heinz, to double-date with him and take out that newly-met red-head, Jeanelle McDonald, just so my father could find out more about her. That’s all it took and soon she became Mrs. Jeanelle Stehly, Jenny, his one and only. 63+ years my parents were married!
My father never liked being the center of attention but when he had an opinion to express, he never shied away. He knew something was up as it got closer to his 70th birthday. He took each of us aside and emphatically exclaimed – “No surprise party!” But we did it anyway, and he loved it and proceeded to express that love to us and the outlaws (the spouses-in-law) with an oration that still has us scratching our heads. I wonder if that can be inherited?!
Thank God for videotape, we now have audio/visual proof of the patriarch being a patriarch, expressing love only he could understand. Yet a lot of that love went unspoken as we grew up. We just knew, everything he did, he did for us, 100%, unconditionally, never asking for anything in return. Except one time, when I got him to open up, he explained, “just do it for YOUR kids”.
Now the man so strong in his faith and love of God, Jesus, Mary and Joseph, the man who assisted in bringing thousands to life, has to experience death before he can harvest the fruits of his magnificent contributions to life. His faith, OUR faith that he instilled in us, dictates that an eternal reward awaits, which he truly deserves. Thank you, Dad, we love you.
JoAnn Pedroni Stehly
Doc was my father-in-law. When I first met him, I was in college and dating his son, Jeff. I was still remember the first time I met him. I was a little intimidated beforehand knowing that Jeff came from a big, Catholic family and I did not. I wasn't sure how I'd be welcomed, but once I met Doc and he gave me that big smile and warm, though somewhat strong, handshake, I was put at ease. I remember how he ALWAYS walked us out to the car as we left their house, waving and shouting "God Bless" as we drove away. I don't know if that started because I drove a VW Bus when I first met Jeff and Doc thought it was the most unsafe vehicle on the road, or if what just his way with all of us. I also remember how he knew the right buttons to push to get a response from people, but he also always knew the right thing to say when the time right. I will always remember his fighting spirit, which he had right up until his last days.
Here is a copy of the eulogy I gave at his service which explains it all...
Thank you for coming to pray Doc and for being a part of his life. My name is JoAnn Stehly and I am married to Dr. John’s son, Jeff. It has been an honor to know him for the past 30 years.
There are many ways to describe my father in law, but I think the most pertinent quality
he possessed was that he was passionate about life. This passion for life carried over into many areas of his life, many of which I had the good fortune to observe firsthand,
having not only been his daughter in law, but having the dubious honor of working with him in his office while at the same time living in his and Jeanelle’s home when Jeff and I first returned from Chicago after dental school.
Doc was first and foremost passionate about his faith. He was not afraid to share his beliefs in the gospels and the Catholic Church with anyone. Nor was he afraid
to let it be known if something in the church or the hospital wasn’t being done according to the teachings of Christ. But it wasn’t just IN HIS WORDS that he revealed his fervent love of God, Christ, and Mary. He lived it by living a life of generosity and kindness, even if at times he was a little rough around the edges. It was always for the Glory of God - not for his own.
A close second to his faith was his passion for his family. This wasn’t limited to his parents, siblings, and children. His love of family extended to his cousins, aunts, uncles, nieces, nephews, cousins through marriage, even his own IN LAWS and his OUTLAWS - which is what he loved to call his four sons in laws and me – the daughter in law. In spite of all of these relatives, no other possession on earth meant more to him than his wife, his seven children and their children. I know many of you doctors and nurses heard his tales of family gatherings in more detail than you cared to know during surgeries and deliveries, because he was so proud of his family.
The next obvious passion was his practice of medicine, delivering children, and caring for their mothers. His primary concern in his 40 plus years of being a physician was making sure each patient, mother and baby got the very best care, to which I’m sure all of you nurses can attest. Some of you may have even been on the other end of the phone during his "occasional rantings" if one of his patients wasn’t taken care of exactly as he expected. And his faith and Catholicism carried over into his practice. I remember assisting him in the office when one of his patients came in for a follow up visit after having lost her first child to an ectopic pregnancy. He took that young woman’s hand in both his, patted her hand gently, and started that difficult conversation with, “you have an angel in heaven watching over you now.” You see, not only did he believe in the sweet little souls of babies who didn’t survive going up to heaven, he also believed in Original Sin and he always made sure that he gave them the best chance he could getting through the Pearly Gates, so he always had a bottle of Holy Water in the delivery room or surgery room in case the baby needed baptizing. And he used it more than once. His volunteer work at the Lestonac Maternity Clinic in Santa Ana caring for uninsured moms and babies also combined his passion for medicine and living the word through his work.
I’m not even going to try to explain his passion for sports. I don’t have near enough testosterone to begin to understand it, let alone explain his love of football and baseball and the hours spent adoring it. His son John might want to cover THAT topic!
Farming was a passion of his. It was in his blood, his father was a farmer and he grew up on a farm in Anaheim. He was always happy working in the garden and it brought him joy to provide food to his family, to his church, and to those with whom he worked. It was a sad day when he could no longer work in his garden. And not just because so many people would miss eating his vegetables. His ceasing to work in the garden was yet another reminder that he had to give up another of his favorite pastimes besides medicine. But no matter
HOW OLD he got, we knew he would never lose his passion for his faith or for his family, especially his wife of 63 years, Jeanelle. Even as he struggled for breath in his final hours, as we prayed the Rosary and Sister Virginia read Psalm 23, his eyes opened ever so slightly at the sound of his daughter Ann’s voice telling him his sisters, Virginia and Suzanne were there to pray for him. He knew he was now the one being cared for and that he was in good hands. His faith and his family have been his passions, the light of his life, and his constant source of joy. And now it was time for his family to let him go on
to what his faith had taught him all his life…. that this was NOT the end,
but the beginning of his heavenly eternal life.
Sandoval Family: Manuel, Erma and son Jerry
Tuesday January 26, 2010 11:51 AM
Our deepest, sinceer condolences to the Stehly Family from the Sandoval Family.
Manuel Sandoval
Erma (Cruz) sandoval
Gerald Jerry Sandoval
Brent and Jackie Budgor
Our thoughts and memories of Uncle John are many. We remember the McDonald christmas parties at the Stehly home for years. Uncle John made you feel very welcome and greeted you with,"How ya doing?"
May his loved ones know they are in our hearts and may they feel some comfort in knowing that Uncle John is with his Lord and is in his loving arms.
Mr.&Mrs Chadwick Jerome McDonald JR.
Since Uncle John brought C.J.out in to the world
like I'm sure many other children we want to thank him from the bottom of our heart.We wish the angels in heaven will take care of him and give him peace.Our prayers and thoughts are with you at this difficult time and we're hoping the happy memories will ease the pain.
Love C.J.& Tina McDonald and Family
God Bless
Lyn Ostensen
Dr. Stehly delivered my first born daughter, Jamie, in 1978. He was on call at St. Jude Hopital when my wife, Carolyn, went into labor. I remember him as having a great bedside manner that helped this young expectant father through the first of three births. My condolenses go out to his large family and loved ones.
